November 2, 2012

Three old jokes

Modern analytics described in three old jokes.

The drunk under the lamppost

A man is on his hands and knees, looking for something under a lamppost and obviously not finding it. The neighborhood policeman asks what he is doing.

“I’m looking for my keys.”

“Did you lose them around here?”
“Not exactly; I think they fell out of my pocket down the street a bit.”

“Then why aren’t you looking for them down the street?”
“The light is better over here.”

But seriously

Some people use statistics the way a drunk uses a lamppost — more for support than for illumination.

Seek and …

A family that’s looking to start organic gardening has a large pile of manure dumped into their backyard. Their daughter grabs a shovel and digs in excitedly, shouting:

“Look at all this … stuff! There must be a pony in here somewhere!!”


5 Responses to “Three old jokes”

  1. Shambhu Borah on November 2nd, 2012 8:40 am

    Good, but I only count two – or is that one of the jokes?

  2. Curt Monash on November 2nd, 2012 8:45 am

    As Dmitri Ryaboy once told me, the two hardest problems in computer science are naming, caching, and off-by-one …

    … but actually there are three there; one is just substantially shorter than the other two.

  3. Winston Lee on November 2nd, 2012 12:49 pm

    Quick, Easy, Cheap. Pick any two.

  4. Thiru on January 18th, 2013 2:10 am

    You can add one more in this row. That’s analytics based on BIG data 🙂

  5. Curt Monash on February 9th, 2013 3:41 pm

    Not so old, Thiru. First time I heard that one was as per the very end of

Leave a Reply

Feed: DBMS (database management system), DW (data warehousing), BI (business intelligence), and analytics technology Subscribe to the Monash Research feed via RSS or email:


Search our blogs and white papers

Monash Research blogs

User consulting

Building a short list? Refining your strategic plan? We can help.

Vendor advisory

We tell vendors what's happening -- and, more important, what they should do about it.

Monash Research highlights

Learn about white papers, webcasts, and blog highlights, by RSS or email.