Metaphors amok
It all started when I disputed James Kobielus’ blogged claim that Hadoop is the nucleus of the next-generation cloud EDW. Jim posted again to reiterate the claim, only this time he wrote that all EDW vendors [will soon] bring Hadoop into their heart of their architectures. (All emphasis mine.)
That did it. I tweeted, in succession:
- Actually, I vote for Hadoop as the lungs of the EDW — first place of entry for essential nutrients.
- Data integration can be the heart of the EDW, pumping stuff around. RDBMS/analytic platform can be the brain.
- iPad-based dashboards that may engender envy, but which actually are only used occasionally and briefly … well, you get the picture.*
*Woody Allen said in Sleeper that the brain was his second-favorite organ.
Of course, that body of work was quickly challenged. Responses included: Read more
| Categories: Analytic technologies, Business intelligence, Data warehousing, EAI, EII, ETL, ELT, ETLT, Fun stuff, Hadoop, Humor, MapReduce | Leave a Comment |
Notes and links October 3 2010
Some notes, follow-up, and links before I head out to California: Read more
| Categories: GIS and geospatial, Google, HP and Neoview, Humor, Kickfire, Netezza, Solid-state memory, Teradata, Web analytics | 3 Comments |
Some interesting links
In no particular order: Read more
| Categories: Business intelligence, EnterpriseDB and Postgres Plus, Fun stuff, Hadoop, Humor, In-memory DBMS, MapReduce, Memory-centric data management, Open source, Oracle, SAP AG | 2 Comments |
The Wonderful One-Hoss Shay
I often write of Bottleneck Whack-A-Mole, an engineering approach that ensues when parts of a system are out of balance. Well, the flip side of that is the One-Hoss Shay, as in Oliver Wendell Holmes’ marvelous poem. (Here’s a version with Howard Pyle illustrations.) Read more
| Categories: Humor, Theory and architecture | Leave a Comment |
Netezza nails April Fool’s Day
Netezza has nailed April Fool’s Day this year. 
(Their site will revert to normal after April 1, so I may later edit this post accordingly.)
Related links
| Categories: Data warehouse appliances, Data warehousing, Fun stuff, Humor, Netezza | Leave a Comment |
Pranks, apocryphal and otherwise
I’ve been posting a bit about pranks of various kinds, mainly geeky ones. But so far I’ve only covered real pranks, rather than the much funnier imaginary ones.
The classic of that genre, of course, is a certain database-oriented xkcd comic strip. (If you haven’t instantly guessed what I’m talking about, you must see that strip.) And in a similar vein, I further offer six examples of xkcd’s “My Hobby” strips. (The last two are not for the sexually squeamish, but the others are pretty G-rated.)
One thing I just learned about xkcd — if you mouse over the strip, you get another joke. Some are almost as funny as the main strip. So even if you have already seen the database-classic xkcd linked above, you might want to revisit it. 
In a very different vein is Dadhacker’s list of real or imaginary past shenanigans, (Edit: The original link is fried, but here’s a partial replacement) which starts:
I am not permitted to replace a coworker’s reference books (including his Knuth, Sedgewick, and C++ reference manuals) with several linear feet of steamy hardback romance novels.
I will not name my variables after nasty tropical diseases, or executives who are under indictment for fraud.
Elevators are not toys, nor should they ever be wired into the corporate net.
Funny and vaguely prankish (and not for the language-squeamish) is this non-xkcd comic about NoSQL. And finally (definitely also for the non-squeamish), see the first long comment in this Reddit thread, which seems to have successfully pranked a whole lot of readers.
| Categories: Fun stuff, Humor, NoSQL | 3 Comments |
Boston Big Data Summit keynote outline
Last month, Bob Zurek asked me to give a talk on “Big Data”, where “big” is anything from a few terabytes on up, then moderate a panel on cloud computing. We agreed that I could talk just from notes, without slides. So, since I have them typed up, I’m posting them below.
Not-so-great moments in planning
| Categories: Analytic technologies, Fun stuff, Humor, Microsoft and SQL*Server | Leave a Comment |
Storage humor
A Microsoft Answers message board got the question:
I’ve noticed that as I copy data/install programs on my Laptop, the weight of the Laptop increases. I have a bad back and am medically limited on the amount of weight I can carry so I need to be very carefull not to inflict injury upon myself.
I have also noticed my XBox feels heavier as well (the more games I save or purchase from arcade). I generally don’t travel with my XBox so that is not an issue for me, but note the I am having the same results.
My ask, what is the weight/file ratio? So for example, how many GB’s = 6oz? I dread the day I need a dolly to commute to work with my Laptop.
Hilarity ensued.
| Categories: Fun stuff, Humor, Storage | 6 Comments |
Is Expressor Software accomplishing anything?
Expressor Software is putting out a ton of press releases to the effect that it has signed up another reseller/systems integration partner or, in some cases, sponsored a webinar. Less clear is whether Expressor is selling much of anything, delivering product people care about, and so on. The one time I visited, Expressor told me that user interface was its strength, then showed me something very primitive and explained — as the famed joke* would have it — how good it was going to be.
*That would be the Thrice-Married Virgin, although I’ve recently seen versions in which the poor unfortunate was married 12 times. The last husband on the list is always a computer or software salesman, who keeps telling her how good it is going to be. I first heard the joke from Flip Filipowski. I decided it must not be too terribly sexist after hearing Sandy Kurtzig tell it to a group stock analysts.
Am I missing anything major?
Edit: I emailed the company on May 8, asking what Expressor had in the way of customers. There has been no response.
| Categories: EAI, EII, ETL, ELT, ETLT, Expressor, Humor | 8 Comments |